Memoirs of a Kagema
by YueShirosaki
Summary: It certainly wasn't my destiny to become a Kagema, a male courtesan, entertaining their customers with dance, music and conversation and sometimes with their bodies. But like in so many things in my life the current carried me there. Ichi birthday special, yaoi, don't like? don't read! rated MA / R-18 not forunderage readers


Happy birthday Ichigo! I have a real nice present for you (and of course my lovely readers)

_Ichi:_ Yeah, sure. You're only doing this to torture me -_-

_Yue_: Ichi, what are you saying? D8

_Hichi_: Yeah, King. You should be glad, you'll finally get laid again.

_Ichi_: I don't need it!

Hichi: Yeah you do. You keep crying in my ear: 'When do I finally get fucked in Angeli Sanguis?  
I want wild and hard Vampire S-' *get's kicked in the face by Ichigo*

_Ichi:_ I said I don't need it!

_Hichi_: You do.

_Ichi_: Don't!

_Yue:_ eh...anyways. I dragged this baby out of my had for the past week. Any resemblances with 'Memoirs of a Geisha' are wanted. So have fun reading.

Onward

* * *

A story like mine wasn't allowed to ever be told.  
Because the world I ended up in is so prohibited that it only can exist in the shadows, averted from the face of society.  
It certainly wasn't my destiny to become a Kagema, a male courtesan, entertaining their customers with dance, music and conversation and sometimes with their bodies.  
But like in so many things in my life the current carried me there.

My mother always said I was like a fire, when controlled I warmed those that sat around it, but when it broke free it could even melt the strongest iron to break a trail.  
Even when it died, a small flame always hid in the ashes, to burn anew some day.

We lived in the time of the late Edo.  
My father was a cattle herder and he barely could feed me and my two sisters with the money he earned.  
I was twelve years old, when my mother suddenly fell ill.  
My father didn't have enough money to get a herbalist and continue to feed the maws of three children.

One evening there came a man to out little hut.  
He talked long with my father and eventually gave him a little bag, with coins jingling in it.  
My father came to get me, dragged me out of my house, promising that everything will be alright and I would be taken good care of.  
I was loaded on the cart of the foreign man and carried off.  
It was a long ride but finally I came to a fisher village.  
The man who bought me, told me I had to work for him, I should fix the nets and ride out on the sea with the other fishermen, day in day out.  
Of course I fought with all that I've got, unwilling to bend to any order or any beating I received for disobeying.

I was like a wildfire.  
They couldn't tame it, even when they used all their strength until it reached it limits; and they couldn't extinguish it completely, even when the used all the waters in the sea surrounding them to the last drop.  
Still they tried and kept me for a year, but in the end, the fishermen had enough of me.  
They brought me to a bigger town, where I was sold off again.

A silk dyer bought me.  
I bend more easily to his will and dyed the silk for fine Kimonos like he taught me.  
Maybe it even was, because he treated me differently than those fishermen.  
It was three years later, when my master got a visitor.  
One who would change my life once again.

_3rd Person POV_

The tea-house owner Shihoin Yoruichi had traveled to the countryside to buy some new silk for Kimonos from her best supplier and friend, Urahara Kisuke.  
Both sat in Uraharas house by a cup of tea and dealt over the price.  
Yoruichi took a sip of her cup and her eyes widened in surprise.  
"Kisuke, who made this tea? It's great."  
Urahara, waved with his fan, smiling brightly.  
"Oh that. The boy I bought some time ago makes it. I let him do the house chores when the girl I keep for it sprained her ankle. I have to say he's a genius with herbs."  
The female nodded and requested her friend to get the boy.

Not five minutes later, the Shoji door opened and a young man with long orange hair and a lithe build knelt outside of the room.  
"You called for me Urahara-sama?"  
Urahara waved with his fan again, telling the boy to come in and relax.  
"Ichigo, this is Shihoin Yoruichi. The owner of a famous tea-house in Kyoto."  
Ichigo looked at the woman, who had violet hair and piecing golden eyes, then he bowed.  
"It's a pleasure to meet you."  
"No need to be so formal. Loosen up, Ichigo was it?"  
The young man loosened his stance a bit.  
"Yes. Kurosaki Ichigo is my name."  
He then turned to his master, a bit uncertain.  
"Urahara-sama, why have you called for me?"

"I let him call you."  
"Why?"  
Ichigo asked, turning his attention back to the lady.  
"Because I want to asks you something. Ichigo you seem to be very talented at making tea and from Kisukes words you're able to do house chores as well. I'd like to take you with me to my tea house, so that your talent can be brought to good use."  
Again Ichigo bowed.  
"I appreciate your offer, but that is for my master to decide."

_Ichigos POV_

And Urahara-sama decided that, for some extra coins of course, Yoruichi-sama could take me with her.  
I traveled to Kyoto and lived in her tea-house, together with the Geishas and Oiran that she called her daughters, and now I was her son.  
So I learned to call her mother and the other women my big sisters  
I did the house chores, helped my sisters to dress in their robes and made the tea for mothers more wealthy guests.

Mother gave me a lot of freedom and I was grateful for it, but it also let my more fiery side live up again, so I caused Mother trouble, more than once.  
Even when Mother was normally a kind person, one shouldn't anger her, or he had to face her wrath and the bamboo whip she used to chastise those that stepped out of line.

One time I defended a young Geisha, with the name Hinamori, from a guest that went overboard.  
The guest got banned but it cost me a broken arm, so I couldn't work for a while.  
Mother was angry, because not only did I cost her the doctor fees, but now she also lost money because I was unable to make the tea that the rich guests came to love so much.  
That was the first, but not the last time I found myself at the receiving end of her whip.  
When I was healed again, I had to pay off my debt, so she made me do errands on top of my other work.  
It was a warm day in spring, when I met a foreigner on one of those errands.

_3rd Person POV_

Ichigo had been send out to retrieve the new Shamisen Yoruichi had ordered.  
He ran over one of the many bridges to cross the river flowing through Kyoto, his gaze wandering to the little boats floating on it.  
Suddenly he bumped into someone and ricocheted, landing on his behind.  
"Whoa there. Pay attention young man."  
A warm voice told him, and a pale hand was held out to help him up.

Ichigo looked up into the face of a man almost as pale as snow, with hair so white that it seemed to glow in the sunlight.  
His eyes were of a deeper shade of gold, than Yoruichis and he wore the expensive robes of a nobleman.  
Ichigo looked away shyly, but took the hand and got up.  
"I'm sorry. Thank you for helping me up"  
"When the eyes don't attend, even the fastest feet will trip."  
The man told wisely.  
Ichigo bowed and was about to head off again, when the man asked.  
"Young boy. I'm new in town. Do you know where the Shihoin tee-house is?"  
Ichigo called back, already running onward.  
"Just follow the street, sir. You will find it on the right side after a five minute walk."  
The man nodded and walked on, in the direction Ichigo had given him.

Ichigo ran even faster than before to get the instruments, only one thought in his mind.  
If he hurried, the man might still be there when he got back.  
An hour later the young man came back to the tea-house, with two new Shamisen.  
On his way to Yoruichis office he saw the man from earlier, sit in one of the rooms, together with Rangiku-san, the best Geisha of the house.  
Both were laughing about something and Ichigo found he liked the sound of the mans voice very much.  
Ichigo brought the instruments to his Lady and then went on with the chores.

Years went by and Ichigo grew up to be a beautiful man, of now eighteen years.  
The women of the tea-house always praised him that he looked better then some of themselves.  
Of course not all Geishas or Oiran liked that, so it came that Ichigo had to feel the wrath of one of them.

_Ichigos POV_

My sisters had begun to tell me that I looked real feminine, with the soft lines of my face and the long hair framing it, even if I had narrow hips, my long legs were compensation greatly for it.  
Though those words sound friendly and well meant for an onlooker, I didn't miss the mock f even envy in it and it hurt more than any whiplash ever could.  
My sisters wanted to hurt me with their words, wanted to injure my pride as a man so they even put me into a Kimono once and took me on a walk through the town like that.  
I had no other choice then to obey, or else they would find a way to get me in trouble with Mother.  
When we came back from the walk, on which many men complimented me, thinking I was a girl and embarrassing me, the topping on the ice was, that the pale nobleman saw me in that outfit.  
I had learned, that he went by the name Shirosaki and that he was a Daimyo.  
He looked at me and I couldn't hide the blush creeping on my cheeks, faster than the Kimono should have allowed me to I ran to my room to hide.

One of my sisters envied and hated me for my looks like none of the others.  
Her customers always kept asking her about me lately.  
Therefore she took revenge on me and destroyed my life.  
She soiled Mothers most expensive Kimono with ink and when Mother called me and asked me how it happened, she said that she had seen me spill the ink on it to play a trick on Mother.  
No matter how much I told Mother that I haven't been it, she wouldn't hear me.  
Mother told me she had enough of my antics and that I wouldn't be able to pay off the money I still indebted her and the coins that Kimono was worth in a life time, with only doing errands.  
She took me to the patio and I got whipped like never before, until my back was so sore I couldn't even feel any more of the lashes.  
When she was finished she send me off, I should get cleaned and dressed.

"From tonight on you'll earn the money you owe me with your body. I never should have taken you with me, but let you and your talents rot away at Kisukes. I can call myself lucky that you have rare looks or you wouldn't be worth a penny."

Mother spread the word that she now entertained men, who preferred a lithe, flat build over the curves of a woman.  
I had to keep many men company in tea ceremonies, talk with them, dance and sing for them.  
Enduring their looks and touches, always smiling, when I could have cried behind my white powdered face, eyes lined with coal and lips colored red.  
Sometimes I even had to spend the night with them.  
Laying down for filthy Samurai and old men, not allowed to fight against them as they broke the last bits of my pride.

Mother praised me for my good work, every time when I brought a lot of money back to her, but she didn't look me in the eyes, when she said.  
"Well, done." or "I'm proud of you."  
I think she couldn't bear to see my eyes, who long lost their fire, after I suffered throughout a year.

I was a doll that would shatter should the two silken strings, holding me up, tear apart.  
One string was my love for making tea and the other was Shirosaki-dono.  
He had become a regular guest and every time when I saw him my heart began to beat so fast, I feared it would escape my chest and run away.  
But he was Rangiku-nee-sans customer, so I never could talk more with him, than the usual greetings.  
At least not until fortune did me a favor.

_3rd Person POV_

Ichigo did the last handles on the robe of one of his sisters, when Yoruichi came into the robing room.  
"Ichigo, hurry, get dressed, one of our regulars has announced himself. He's one of Rangikus."  
She grabbed the young man and, combed his hair, before she started to braid it.  
"That she had to get ill now of all times and all the others are busy at the moment."  
Ichigo closed his eyes, trying to blend out the pain the comb caused him as it went through his hair and merciless ripped every knot apart.  
"Listen, keep him company as long as you can and if he wants you to serve him for the night, you ask him to choose another woman. Tell him anything why you can't perform yourself, but don't utter a word that you are a boy. You got me?"  
Meanwhile Ichigo got clad in two layers of robes and an obi was bound around his torso.  
He only nodded, wondering which of Rangiku-sans guests he had to keep company.  
But his musings were cut short when he got a harsh shove and was lead to one of the rooms.  
"Please, by the gods, don't mess this up. Don't forget your cover name. Now get going."

Ichigo knelt down in front of the Shoji door and opened it, he bend down lightly.  
"I'm sorry for the wait, sir. Rangiku-san excuses herself, but she has fallen ill with a light fever. I'll be your company in her stead tonight."  
"Oh, well. I hope she'll get better soon. What's your name, my beautiful child."  
Ichigo couldn't believe his ears, he knew that voice, had heard it a thousand times in the hallways.  
He looked up, coming to face the pale features of the Daimyo.  
"T-Tsubaki, sir."  
He told, trying to hide a blush, but failing miserably.  
"Now that is a sweet name. Seeing a Camellia in full bloom at such uncommon time is a nice view for my sore eyes. Come on, don't be shy. Sit down next to me."  
Ichigo entered the room and sat next to the nobleman, eyes downcast, he poured him a cup of tea.  
He stayed silent the whole time, while the landlord drank his tea.  
"Tsubaki-chan, how come I've never seen you here before? Are you new?"  
"Y-yes. I came here, just three days ago."  
"Oh? So is this your first time at a tea ceremony?"  
"No...I...I've been at another tea house before."  
Ichigo told, his voice shaking with every word.  
He was so nervous, he barely could concentrate on his tasks.  
"I see. Little Tsubaki, I missed to ask your big sister this, but do you know who makes this fantastic tea? I've never tasted one as good as this anywhere else."  
Ichigo was unsure how he should answer to that, after all it was him who made the tea, but if the Daimyo knew that a boy made it and it was just a loaded question, he could blow up his disguise.  
"A boy...who takes care of the chores makes it. I don't remember his name, sir."  
"Call me Shirosaki, little Tsubaki."  
"Yes, Shirosaki-san."  
Ichigo tested the name on his tongue and he liked it very much.

Shirosaki let out a short laughter, amused that his little Geisha couldn't drop the courtesies.  
Afterward he asked Ichigo to play a song and sing for him.  
Ichigo followed his request and sung a ballad of a princess who had fallen in love with the prince of a family her father was in feud with.  
After the song, he danced and Shirosaki praised him for his beautiful moves and compared them to a well tamed fire.  
Hours went by and midnight was not far anymore, when Shirosaki finally requested something Ichigo couldn't give him.  
"My little Tsubaki, I would be delighted if you warmed my bed tonight."  
Ichigo couldn't meet his eyes anymore, like he had done in the past hours, as he told.  
"I'm sorry Shirosaki-san, but I can't do that. I can get you one of my sisters to fulfill your wish, if you like."  
"But I don't want them. I want you."  
Shirosaki pressed on, resting a hand on Ichigos thigh, who backed away.  
"Please, I can't. I'm not the right person to ask, for something like that."  
"Don't you know how to lie with a man? I can teach you, don't worry."  
"No, Shirosaki-san. I mean...I do know. But..I...I'm..."  
Ichigo was mentally backing into a corner, the man he adored wouldn't let him get away, but he couldn't tell him the truth either.  
"What is it, little Tsubaki?"  
He looked up into those eyes, like molten gold, and the soft smile on those pale lips finally broke down his wall.  
"I'm not what your eyes make you believe me to be."  
Ichigo told, averting his eyes and a light blush adoring his cheeks.  
Shirosaki tilted his head a bit and reached with his hand for Ichigos face, brushing off some of the powder on his cheek.  
"Oh, I know who's beneath those robes of finest silk and this mask as white as porcelain. I knew from the moment you opened that door."  
Ichigo was astonished that his masquerade didn't beguile the landlord, like it had so many other men, who he hadn't shared a bed with.  
"Then why haven't you said anything?"  
"Because your Lady wanted you to be a woman for me. She doesn't know where my preferences lie. Have you ever seen me go to the rooms upstairs with one of the Oiran?"  
Ichigo shook his head in deny.  
"Then do you know, why I always come to this place?"  
Again Ichigo could only shake his head.  
"It's because I heard that there was a boy who made tea like no one could in the entire country and that he was a beauty no one was allowed to touch."  
Shirosaki averted his eyes, sadness dulling their glow.  
"When I heard that you indebted yourself so far that you had to work it off in ways that are indescribable for me, it almost shattered my heart. But seeing you so unhappy on top of it..."  
The nobleman broke off in his speech, no words were deep enough to voice his feelings.

"But still, you also want to be with me in those indescribable ways."  
Ichigo said, hurt mixing in his voice and his hands shaking as he dug them in his robes.  
"No. I don't want to use you to pleasure myself. I want to pleasure you and shower you with love. You deserve every bit of it."  
A blush spread on Ichigos face again and he couldn't help himself but believe the landlords words.  
"I will grant you your wish then."

He lead Shirosaki upstairs into an empty room and shed his clothes, before he helped the other out of his own.  
Ichigo knelt down in front of the Daimyo, to pleasure and wake his rod, that still was half asleep.  
A pair of hands on his shoulders stopped him and he looked up to his customer in lack of understanding.  
"I told you. I want to pleasure _you_. Lie down."  
Ichigo nodded and lay down on his back, angling and spreading his legs.  
Shirosaki devoured him with his eyes, savoring each inch of skin splayed out before him.  
The older man got to his knees in between Ichigos legs, his face in front of the young mans flaccid penis.  
Gently he took it into his hand and stroked it slowly, until it started to harden and Ichigo began to emit silent mewls.  
Shirosaki parted his lips and swallowed the hot flesh of Ichigo, to bob his head on it and tickle its tip with his tongue.  
Ichigo felt hot between his legs, this sensation something completely knew for him.  
Sure some other customers had done that to him as well, but it had never felt so intense like now and he was unable to silence his voice.  
Eventually he couldn't hold on any longer and he released his essence, Shirosaki swallowing all of it eagerly and letting go of his spend erection with a wet pop.

"You are so beautiful, little Tsubaki."  
He whispered into Ichigos ear as he nibbled on its lobe.  
Ichigo moaned silently and bared his neck.  
"M-my name is Ichigo...not Tsubaki."  
He whimpered, feeling more annoyed about the name the more he heard it.  
"Mhh. That sounds even better. Ichigo, may I continue?"  
Prickling warmth ran along Ichigos spine as he heard his name from those lips and he could only nod his agreement.

Shirosaki wet his fingers with some saliva, then he pushed one into Ichigos entrance, to loosen it up a bit.  
Soon after a second followed and he started to move them around and scissor them.  
When he brushed against something deep inside of Ichigo, the young man cried out and pushed back on those fingers.  
From there on his hips moved on there own, trying to hit that spot again with the fingers inside of Ichigos body.  
The heat he felt was almost unbearable, his mind felt foggy and he was unable to think straight anymore.  
Shirosaki retreated his fingers, earning himself a displeased whine, that he couldn't help but laugh at.  
The nobleman took his painfully hard erection and lined it up at Ichigos waiting entrance.  
"I'm going in."  
He warned the younger one, before he sheathed himself fully in one thrust.  
Ichigos eyes widened in surprise as he was filled so suddenly and he couldn't hold back the cry spilling from his lips.

Shirosaki kept still, until the walls surrounding his manhood relaxed a bit and Ichigo pleaded him to move with his eyes.  
He rocked his hips in a slow pace at thee beginning, increasing his speed steadily until he found just the right rhythm to drive Ichigo to the edge.  
Mewls and moans spilled from his lips as he floated in a sea of ecstasy, sometimes even some incoherent words.  
Shirosaki felt Ichigos walls tighten around him and knew he was close to the end, so he took his leaking erection into his hand and began to stroke it.  
"Shi...Shirosaki-san! I...I...lo – ahhh!"  
With a final cry Ichigo came a second time, his clenching walls ripping Shirosakis own orgasm off him.  
Totally spend, Shirosaki dropped next to Ichigo, after he had pulled out of him and the younger male curled up in his arms.

Only an hour later, both rose from the bed and cleaned the evidence of their activities, before they redressed.  
"Ichigo. What did you want to say earlier?"  
Ichigo blushed a deep shade of red.  
He had hoped Shirosaki hadn't heard what he was about to say before his release saved him from finishing the sentence.  
"N-nothing."  
Unfortunately the Daimyo didn't buy it, he lifted Ichigos face by his chin to look deep into the younger ones amber eyes.  
"Please, say it."  
"I...love you."

As soon as the words left his lips, a pair of pale ones closed over his own and devoured them in a searing hot kiss.  
When they left him again, Ichigo blabbered, unable to contain his thoughts any longer.  
"I love you. I do since that day on the bridge, when I ran into you and you helped me up so kindly even when it was my fault to begin with."  
Another kiss was placed on his lips, followed by a confession of Shirosaki.  
"I love you too. I fell in love with you, the moment I saw you coming back with the other Geishas from town. I knew that you were a boy, even when you wore that Kimono."  
Tears of joy and sadness ran down on Ichigos face.

He was loved by the man he fell for, but he never could be with him.  
He was chained to this tea-house until his debt was payed off and he disbelieved Yoruichi would let him go even then.  
But then Shirosaki said something, that made Ichigo doubt his ears.  
"I want to pay your debt, Ichigo."  
"What?"  
Shirosaki took him by the shoulders, looking sincerely at him.  
"I pay your debt and you will be free from here. If Yoruichi doesn't want to let you go I pay her as much as she wants until she will do it. You can come with me then, to my estate and live like you deserve to. Your suffering will come to an end, Ichigo."  
Ichigo stared disbelievingly at the nobleman.  
"You'd do that for me?"  
"Of course!"  
New tears welled up in the younger ones eyes and he buried his face into Shirosakis chest.  
"Thank you!"

At dawn of the next day, Shirosaki went to Yoruichi and asked how high the debt of Ichigo was.  
The woman asked why he wanted to know that, so Shirosaki told her of his intention to free him of that debt and asked her to let him go.  
Yoruichi, just like Shirosaki had thought, refused to let Ichigo leave the tea-house.  
"He's earning me good coins with his tea and the body he has. Why should I unhand someone like that?"  
Shirosaki set two more bags filled to the brim with coins.  
"I hope you'll reconsider you choice. He'll die in this environment sooner or later. Take this money and let him leave, before you make him and yourself even more hapless."

Yoruichi took it, but before she let Shirosaki leave she asked.  
"Why does he count so much for you?"  
"He's like the sun. Without him everything will wither away."  
That was all the explanation Shirosaki gave her as he left and took Ichigo with him.

_Ichigos POV_

I know that, even when I am free now, I never really can be with Shirosaki-san.  
In the face of public I will be nothing more than a servant living on his estate.  
Only when we step in the shadows and hide from the eyes of society he can show me his love and hold me in his arms.

But still.

When a boy, who experienced so many bad things in his life, experiences kindness.  
When he found that there was love, after crossing over a sea filled with envy and hate.

Can one not call this luck?

After all, this aren't the memoirs of an emperor or king.  
Those are memoirs of an entire different kind.

End

* * *

**Geisha**: Japanese singing and dancing girl  
**Oiran**: courtesan, prostitute  
**Kagema**: professional homosexual ( male version of a Geisha & Oiran)  
**Daimyo**: Japanese feudal lord

_Yue_: Yeah, I hope you liked that.

_Hichi_: Well I did. I love it when Ichigo is a shy little uke 8D

_Ichi:_ Why, you... I'm so gonna get back at you in Angeli Sanguis.

_Hichi_: Oh, come on Ichi. We know that ain't true. You'll stay my obedient little bitch and only get to kick Grimmys ass if you're  
lucky.

_Ichi:_ *vein starts to throb* One of these days...I swear...one of these days I have you begging at my feet.

_Hichi_: Mhh, you mean like you did last time? *imitates Ichigo* 'Shiro! Oh god, please make me come! Harder, Shiro. Fuck me  
harder!'

*Ichigo starts to pummel Hichigo*

_Yue:_ Yeah, well. I think those two are busy for some time. So I think I will see most of you at Angeli Sanguis next week. Stay  
tuned. *waves, then takes a glance at the berries*  
Hey you two, stop your hate sex for a moment and say goodbye to our readers!

_Hichi & Ichi_: See ya. *go back to fooling around*

_Yue:_ *sighs* Really those two...

See ya  
Shiro Yue


End file.
